Those on the Journey...

I have made NO secret that my journey is guided by those I hold dear. In the last 16 months I have embraced the concept that nobody loses weight truly on their own. This is a journey best made with good people. The last 16 months taught me about my good people; namely who they are.




Believe it or not there are people in your life that might not have as positive of a reaction to your lifestyle changes as you may hope. Seems like a no brainer, right? I get healthy. My health will breed internal happiness. Wouldn’t one assume that light inside me will brighten the world of those around me?



You know what they say about assuming. There is no need to be foul-mouth and spell it out. The changes we make when engaging; truly engaging, in this journey will impact all aspects of our lives. We begin to see the world through different eyes. One cannot make changes without being changed. This may appear a tad melodramatic or far-fetch, but those that have made this change and those that are in the lives of someone making that change can attest to the impact this journey has upon everyone involved.



It was, perhaps, the one thing I didn’t count on. I thought I was just working out, eating right, and overall becoming healthier. The physical; however, changes the emotional. Soon friends saw a change in me. It wasn’t that I was a different person, but there was this new found light that shined ever so brightly; a beckon of change that helped guide those around me to who I was becoming. Becoming more fitting, because I’ll never become but remain on a never ending journey of becoming. Once we mentally become then evolution and continued growth cease and that’s not what I want.



Previous to this journey I was happy and content in my life. I accepted who I was, playing the role of the loyal and constant Melissa. Whenever you looked back I was there, I was always there. Though I embraced life as it was, I did not chase what could be. Those in my life went off on their adventures of becoming; however, embracing the always dependable Melissa waiting to be there. I never felt like a priority to those in my life, just merely the empathetic listener waiting to be called. I felt like Batman, waiting for my chubby-shaped signal to shine through the endless night. “Da Da Da Da Fat Guy!” would announce my arrival as I swooped in beneath the cloak of night to provide the service needed by those in my life.



When you’re content, constant, and dependable stagnation becomes your life. I didn’t realize this. I was happy. I don’t say I thought I was happy, but I felt it. I was happy. I had joy. I had love. However, I lacked love of the journey. I was happy to make camp on the fork waiting for those passing through. It seemed like as good of a place as any to make my home.



Soon, though, the view lost its wonder. When you sit on the sidelines, never joining, the season soon ends. You’re stuck waiting for next season to roll around and play spectator again. Tossing my binoculars down, I throw my bag of popcorn in the trash, and stepped off the bleachers. It was time to join the game.



Spending life watching others is boring. It was time for me to have my own adventure. The last 16 months have been the greatest adventure of my life. With my new found sense of self and embrace of healthy living, I have opened myself up to so much. When you are living and not just live, your heart is open.



However, as I embraced the living Melissa I realized that not everyone appreciated the change. It’s hard to believe this, but some people prefer you to stay on the sidelines. They’ll never say it outright; however, in subtle moments you’ll see glimpses of their attempt to eject you from the game:



 “You don’t need to work out!”

 “You’ve changed.”

 “Remember how you use to always get dessert?”

 “I don’t think your weight loss is healthy.”



Some of their subtle comments may be veiled under backhanded compliments. You’ll notice attempts to get you to backslide into old behaviors. They may pull away from you. They may talk about how you’re not the same person anymore…etc



All this will make you wonder, “Am I?” Of course, you’re not! Change will change you. This isn’t bad, though. Remember when you’re the spectator, there has to be the watched. Sometimes the watched may react to the gaze of others veering away.



As I continue on my journey, I began to see this in some of the people that were in my life. Some of those that I called friends; I started to realize begrudge me my new found light, preferring the cloaked figure of empathetic listening. It wasn’t that I didn’t still listen and my core values of friendship, compassion, and kindness were swept away, but I also demanded equal exchange of those qualities of friendship. I would no longer except less than what I was giving. Embracing healthy living aided in me valuing all aspects of me, including what I deserved in relationships.



Who knew merely working out and eating healthy would help me find myself and my true friends? In the last 16 months I have said goodbye to some, held others more closely, and found strength and laughter in new friends. I share this, because it was an unforeseen lesson in my journey. Those we start this journey with may not make it along each bend in the road and that’s okay, because the one person most important on this journey is you. You will not do it alone, but will learn who will guide you on your path by just embracing your becoming.