Fat Guy Porn

After returning home yesterday I found myself laying flat on my belly, the hands holding up my chin as my eyes gazed up at the television in pure ecstasy. The Cooking Channel featured chocolate on their “Unique Sweets” show. My mouth watered at the anticipation of each dish displayed and described in a way to invoke seduction of the viewer. Soon I found myself craving to dip everything in chocolate, even Liam. He laughed sitting on the couch as I eyed each dish like a ravenous dog.




“This like porn for fat people,” he joked. This morning as I looked up the different restaurants featured on the show I realized it was! It was someone watching pornography, getting turned on, and then finding a way of “releasing” themselves. My way of relieving myself was a piece of toast smothered in Nutella and planning to visit one of those restaurants while in Chicago for the Holidays.



It is almost pornographic they way we depict food in this culture. We are seduced by food. We use the same language about food as we do about sex. We crave. We cheat. We etc… Just think about it. Sex and food at so closely aligned in this culture. They are the basic needs of this culture, to eat and to reproduce through sexual activity. Both experiences have been cheapened or given an extreme price. Both leave us with a mixture of feelings. Both make fill or distract us.



So the idea of being seduced by food to fulfilling a longing deep inside isn’t that far fetched if we think about it? In fact chocolate releases the same chemical in the brain that is released during climax (medical fact). That might explain the endless love affair women have had with chocolate; the kindness and most unforgiving of partners. Chocolate is that bad boy, so smooth and sweet in the moment, only to leave us heart broken as we try to zip up our jeans the next morning.



This love affair we have with food can be seen in all aspects of our culture. Whether it’s the cheap and tawdry trysts like the Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest and “Man v. Food” or the expensive four course romances at the finest restaurant. The truth is we’ve all been seduced by food. I know I have.



The trouble is how do we resist the temptation? It’s like trying to break up with the guy that we know is so wrong for us, but we keep sneaking off in the middle of the night to meet up with. Although, just like in those cases it’s not the seducer that is the enemy, it’s us. How do we handle the temptation? How do we not loose ourselves to food?



Part of me wants to crawl back into the unforgiving arms of indulgence, living in a self-imposes delusion of the truth. However, each time I slip into that affair again, I find myself losing the greatest love of all; my self. How do we create a healthy relationship with food, while still enjoying those little trysts? This is a question I will struggle with and continue to do so.