Falling off the Wagon

We all fall off the wagon. It happens to the best and worst of us. Last week I fell off that wagon. Correction, I free-fell! The food police almost had to scrape my remains up! I felt like lying there, allowing them to make that chalk line around my healthy body and allowing my fat guy to re-emerge. It feels so easy to fall and just lay there waiting for someone else to rescue me.




While I lay there letting them draw a layered shape around me, I couldn’t help but think, “Why am I laying here?” Since when is falling off the wagon fatal? Did one small milkshake spell out doom? Did a week without yoga, but lots of walking seal my fate? Did that slice of pizza sign my death warrant? No! It was a tumble from the wagon, but rather than laying there allowing the other wagons in my train to health roll over me, I needed to pull myself up. It was time to dust of those yoga pants, grab hold, and climb back on.



That’s the trick about falling off the wagon. It’s not the fall that kills you, it’s what you do after. Once we’ve slipped; not exercising, poor diet, gaining weight, not losing it…etc (However we define falling off that wagon) we tend to beat ourselves up. We lay there and give up. “I can’t do this.” “This is too hard.” “Why do I try?” This attitude isn’t going to get us anywhere. Our journey will cease or retract. We are flushing our hard work down the drain!



All these thoughts raced through my head. I sat there wallowing in my slips. It’s okay to treat yourself, but I spent a week of pure indulgence. I felt as if I was falling back into those old comfortable fat guy jeans; you know that stretchy pair that makes your butt look fat but feel comfortable to wear after gorging on a turkey dinner. I had two choices; give up or not. The old Melissa would have given up. She would have embraced the easy. It’s so much easier to grab a slice of pizza for lunch then stand there cutting fresh fruits and veggies to pack for lunch. So, would I lay there or climb back on that wagon?



I got up, dusted off my yoga pants, and grabbed a hold. My hands sweaty and worn I climbed back on, seating my self at the reins of my wagon. I like to picture myself wearing a cowgirl hat leading my wagon train of fellow former fat guys heading to our independence; our healthy lifestyles. Yesterday I went to the grocery store purchasing healthy options for lunch. Last night I stood over my kitchen counter cleaning and cutting fresh fruits and veggies. I made a lunch of peaches, strawberries, peppers, yogurt, carrots, and lean rolled up turkey. For snacks I packed banana, a single serving of protein cereal, and single serving of almonds. My two bottles of filtered water were packed. In the morning I woke up early to stretch awake with a twenty minute Yoga session. I breakfasted on glass of soy milk, glass of orange juice, sugar free oatmeal, and a piece of whole grain toast with reduced fat peanut butter. Dinner was half a grilled cheese (reduced fat Swiss on whole grain) and steamed veggies (random but yummy). I sit here with a snack of Chocolate Soy Milk. This nurtured my wounds from falling off the wagon. I fell back into my good habits.



Don’t let the stumbles destroy you. Each of us will have moments of weakness; moments where we lose grip of the reins. It’s okay. Don’t anguish in it. Beating yourself up or giving up does nothing to help you regain your grasp. Recognize that we all fall. The trick isn’t avoiding the fall; it’s what we do once we fall.