I have made NO secret that my journey is guided by those I hold dear. In the last 16 months I have embraced the concept that nobody loses weight truly on their own. This is a journey best made with good people. The last 16 months taught me about my good people; namely who they are.
Believe it or not there are people in your life that might not have as positive of a reaction to your lifestyle changes as you may hope. Seems like a no brainer, right? I get healthy. My health will breed internal happiness. Wouldn’t one assume that light inside me will brighten the world of those around me?
You know what they say about assuming. There is no need to be foul-mouth and spell it out. The changes we make when engaging; truly engaging, in this journey will impact all aspects of our lives. We begin to see the world through different eyes. One cannot make changes without being changed. This may appear a tad melodramatic or far-fetch, but those that have made this change and those that are in the lives of someone making that change can attest to the impact this journey has upon everyone involved.
It was, perhaps, the one thing I didn’t count on. I thought I was just working out, eating right, and overall becoming healthier. The physical; however, changes the emotional. Soon friends saw a change in me. It wasn’t that I was a different person, but there was this new found light that shined ever so brightly; a beckon of change that helped guide those around me to who I was becoming. Becoming more fitting, because I’ll never become but remain on a never ending journey of becoming. Once we mentally become then evolution and continued growth cease and that’s not what I want.
Previous to this journey I was happy and content in my life. I accepted who I was, playing the role of the loyal and constant Melissa. Whenever you looked back I was there, I was always there. Though I embraced life as it was, I did not chase what could be. Those in my life went off on their adventures of becoming; however, embracing the always dependable Melissa waiting to be there. I never felt like a priority to those in my life, just merely the empathetic listener waiting to be called. I felt like Batman, waiting for my chubby-shaped signal to shine through the endless night. “Da Da Da Da Fat Guy!” would announce my arrival as I swooped in beneath the cloak of night to provide the service needed by those in my life.
When you’re content, constant, and dependable stagnation becomes your life. I didn’t realize this. I was happy. I don’t say I thought I was happy, but I felt it. I was happy. I had joy. I had love. However, I lacked love of the journey. I was happy to make camp on the fork waiting for those passing through. It seemed like as good of a place as any to make my home.
Soon, though, the view lost its wonder. When you sit on the sidelines, never joining, the season soon ends. You’re stuck waiting for next season to roll around and play spectator again. Tossing my binoculars down, I throw my bag of popcorn in the trash, and stepped off the bleachers. It was time to join the game.
Spending life watching others is boring. It was time for me to have my own adventure. The last 16 months have been the greatest adventure of my life. With my new found sense of self and embrace of healthy living, I have opened myself up to so much. When you are living and not just live, your heart is open.
However, as I embraced the living Melissa I realized that not everyone appreciated the change. It’s hard to believe this, but some people prefer you to stay on the sidelines. They’ll never say it outright; however, in subtle moments you’ll see glimpses of their attempt to eject you from the game:
“You don’t need to work out!”
“You’ve changed.”
“Remember how you use to always get dessert?”
“I don’t think your weight loss is healthy.”
Some of their subtle comments may be veiled under backhanded compliments. You’ll notice attempts to get you to backslide into old behaviors. They may pull away from you. They may talk about how you’re not the same person anymore…etc
All this will make you wonder, “Am I?” Of course, you’re not! Change will change you. This isn’t bad, though. Remember when you’re the spectator, there has to be the watched. Sometimes the watched may react to the gaze of others veering away.
As I continue on my journey, I began to see this in some of the people that were in my life. Some of those that I called friends; I started to realize begrudge me my new found light, preferring the cloaked figure of empathetic listening. It wasn’t that I didn’t still listen and my core values of friendship, compassion, and kindness were swept away, but I also demanded equal exchange of those qualities of friendship. I would no longer except less than what I was giving. Embracing healthy living aided in me valuing all aspects of me, including what I deserved in relationships.
Who knew merely working out and eating healthy would help me find myself and my true friends? In the last 16 months I have said goodbye to some, held others more closely, and found strength and laughter in new friends. I share this, because it was an unforeseen lesson in my journey. Those we start this journey with may not make it along each bend in the road and that’s okay, because the one person most important on this journey is you. You will not do it alone, but will learn who will guide you on your path by just embracing your becoming.
Starting the Journey
This is how I started my journey (taken in May 2009)
Monday, January 31, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
There are hills. There are valleys. There are plateaus. At any point in our weight loss/getting healthy journey we’ll hit a plateau. They may be short or stretch for miles. No matter what they’ll cause a level of frustration that may prove damaging to our sense of self and journey.
At some point that scale will stop decreasing, our endurance will seem to pace, our strength will feel stagnant, and overall a feeling of “ughness” will overcome at the idea of steamed veggies and a 60 minute workout at the end of the day. This happens to each of us. It seems to be triggered by the cease of decrease of the dreaded scale. We stand there weighing ourselves in every possible fashion; morning, noon, night, dressed, semi-dressed, naked, hair up, hair down… However, we can manipulate the scale in reading a decreased number. We’re doing all the right things. Our diet remains healthy. Our exercise regime is intact. Simply put, we’ve hit a plateau.
They are apart of the geography of our journey. Any map will foretell our impending arrival to these plateaus. We can attempt to cross rivers, climb mountains, and jump off cliffs; but, alas, our tired feet will land in that plateau. It’s the way our body takes a rest. We’ve been working hard. We’re doing everything right.
I have hit several plateaus in this journey. Some I navigate through rather quickly and soon find resurgence in all the benefits of my health journey; renewed strength, energy, endurance, and weigh loss. Others stretch on for months. Nothing I seem to do shake it. I decrease calories. I increase calories. I go on a no exercise bender for a week. I go on a Fat Guy Food Bender for a few weeks; all done in hopes to jolt the system for my return to un-Fat Guy habits.
While these may seem to work, they are only shocking my system into weight loss. Is that what this journey is all about? I am NOT going to lie. I want to lose the weight. I am 36lbs away from y goal weight. I am 36lbs away. A few weeks away I was 41lbs. However, shouldn’t this be about my health? If I don’t lose the 36lbs, but remain eating healthy and exercising regularly isn’t that victory enough? If I settle this plateau and build a home in a foundation of healthy living, isn’t that what this journey is about?
As I reflect on it, that’s the most important thing. I am still going to work towards my goal to lose these 36lbs and reach a healthy weight; for me. However, I need to remain in a perspective that sees the plateaus as a part of my journey. If I do not maintain this perspective, what are the consequences? The consequences are my dire than the stagnation of the plateau. Wrapping my self worth and the basis of this journey up in the weight loss v. the healthy living will cause the crumbling of the foundation I have worked so hard to build. Extreme tactics, as listed above, may cause me to put my health in danger. After months of not weight loss I may choose to forgo my journey. “Why bother?”
If I choose to reframe these plateaus and my journey, I’ll center it on what it needs to be about; my health and NOT the weight loss. So, I’ll enjoy the picnic of healthy living in my plateau, while I maintain the march ahead.
At some point that scale will stop decreasing, our endurance will seem to pace, our strength will feel stagnant, and overall a feeling of “ughness” will overcome at the idea of steamed veggies and a 60 minute workout at the end of the day. This happens to each of us. It seems to be triggered by the cease of decrease of the dreaded scale. We stand there weighing ourselves in every possible fashion; morning, noon, night, dressed, semi-dressed, naked, hair up, hair down… However, we can manipulate the scale in reading a decreased number. We’re doing all the right things. Our diet remains healthy. Our exercise regime is intact. Simply put, we’ve hit a plateau.
They are apart of the geography of our journey. Any map will foretell our impending arrival to these plateaus. We can attempt to cross rivers, climb mountains, and jump off cliffs; but, alas, our tired feet will land in that plateau. It’s the way our body takes a rest. We’ve been working hard. We’re doing everything right.
I have hit several plateaus in this journey. Some I navigate through rather quickly and soon find resurgence in all the benefits of my health journey; renewed strength, energy, endurance, and weigh loss. Others stretch on for months. Nothing I seem to do shake it. I decrease calories. I increase calories. I go on a no exercise bender for a week. I go on a Fat Guy Food Bender for a few weeks; all done in hopes to jolt the system for my return to un-Fat Guy habits.
While these may seem to work, they are only shocking my system into weight loss. Is that what this journey is all about? I am NOT going to lie. I want to lose the weight. I am 36lbs away from y goal weight. I am 36lbs away. A few weeks away I was 41lbs. However, shouldn’t this be about my health? If I don’t lose the 36lbs, but remain eating healthy and exercising regularly isn’t that victory enough? If I settle this plateau and build a home in a foundation of healthy living, isn’t that what this journey is about?
As I reflect on it, that’s the most important thing. I am still going to work towards my goal to lose these 36lbs and reach a healthy weight; for me. However, I need to remain in a perspective that sees the plateaus as a part of my journey. If I do not maintain this perspective, what are the consequences? The consequences are my dire than the stagnation of the plateau. Wrapping my self worth and the basis of this journey up in the weight loss v. the healthy living will cause the crumbling of the foundation I have worked so hard to build. Extreme tactics, as listed above, may cause me to put my health in danger. After months of not weight loss I may choose to forgo my journey. “Why bother?”
If I choose to reframe these plateaus and my journey, I’ll center it on what it needs to be about; my health and NOT the weight loss. So, I’ll enjoy the picnic of healthy living in my plateau, while I maintain the march ahead.
Pulling that brick along my journey to remind me of the weight (emotional and physical) that we all carry on this journey.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
10th Grade Math?
Often we lose our minds and slip into that person we don’t want to be. I have found myself slipping into that calorie obsessed girl, that I once ignored as the sweetness of a piece of milk chocolate melted in my mouth. “Calories…yep…” I would mumble as my taste buds soaked up the luscious flavor. Those girls would be jotted down how many almonds they had and rationing calories like the last drops of water, while set adrift upon an endless sea.
Today as I calculated the number of calories in a peanut butter cookie, trying to decide if I should partake in the office goodies, I called on the forces of 10th grade math trying to percentage out that cookie to fit the complicated calculations of ONLY in taking 1750 calories a day to stick with my plan. Was the cookie worth it? Could I substitute that cookie for my lunch? Should I?
As I sat there rationing how that cookie fit into my dietary needs; “There are eggs, which are protein, in the cookie…” it dawned on me, “When did I become a calorie counter? When did I live and die by how many calories were in something? How did food lose its joy and become a Math lesson?
Now, I am not saying calories aren’t important. It’s VITAL to know what you’re consuming. However, isn’t it more important to take in the WHOLE picture? Yes, I could have broken off a piece of that cookie and indulges in its sweetness or I could have eaten a piece of fresh fruit and some almonds giving me more benefit for those same calories. Should I measure my diet simply by calorie intake? Is 1750 calories a day of all the bad stuff better than 2000 of all the right stuff?
While the fewer calories will help in weigh loss, it won’t help sustain my weight loss. If I am training my mind to measure in calories, I’ll always pick the lower calorie option. That’s not necessarily the best. For example while reduced fat peanut butter has less calories and fat, it removes all the good fat found in regular peanut butter and adds WAY more sugar. Shouldn’t I be stressing less about calories and more about substance?
The answer, of course, is yes. Substance should trump calories any day. If my calories exceed 1750 (not be a HUGE amount) but provide my body with the proper nutrition to fuel my exercise and metabolism isn’t that the most important thing? For the record I did not consume the cookie.
I choose healthy options to make up my eating for today:
Piece of Whole Wheat Toast with Tablespoon Nutella
Soy Milk
8 bottles of water
2 glasses of water
Grande Mint Green Tea Iced
Grande Hot Peppermint Tea (black)
2 Cups Protein Plus Cereal
2 Appels
2 Bananas
Single Serving of Almonds
Yogurt
Cup of Steamed Veggies
Two spoon full of Spaghetti O’s
Grilled Turkey Burger with Swiss (no bun)
Bowl of Chocolate Lucky Charm for a dessert with 2 percent Milk
I found that I had a day full of taste and healthy foods that fueled my body for my day and 40 minute workout. While calories are important, it’s important to measure your diet in more than the total number of calories in something. I need to look beyond the calories. For example that 100 calorie pack of Oreo’s is not going to provide me with the same benefits of those 150 calories of almonds or piece of fruit.
The lesson here is read more deeply into those labels that say Low Fat, Fat Free, or Low Calorie. Read those labels and compare them to the original. You might find that those labels are deceptive in telling you something is good for you remember. Remember 20 less calories might seem good, but what do they add/take away in the other areas? Calorie counting is NOT the answer!
Today as I calculated the number of calories in a peanut butter cookie, trying to decide if I should partake in the office goodies, I called on the forces of 10th grade math trying to percentage out that cookie to fit the complicated calculations of ONLY in taking 1750 calories a day to stick with my plan. Was the cookie worth it? Could I substitute that cookie for my lunch? Should I?
As I sat there rationing how that cookie fit into my dietary needs; “There are eggs, which are protein, in the cookie…” it dawned on me, “When did I become a calorie counter? When did I live and die by how many calories were in something? How did food lose its joy and become a Math lesson?
Now, I am not saying calories aren’t important. It’s VITAL to know what you’re consuming. However, isn’t it more important to take in the WHOLE picture? Yes, I could have broken off a piece of that cookie and indulges in its sweetness or I could have eaten a piece of fresh fruit and some almonds giving me more benefit for those same calories. Should I measure my diet simply by calorie intake? Is 1750 calories a day of all the bad stuff better than 2000 of all the right stuff?
While the fewer calories will help in weigh loss, it won’t help sustain my weight loss. If I am training my mind to measure in calories, I’ll always pick the lower calorie option. That’s not necessarily the best. For example while reduced fat peanut butter has less calories and fat, it removes all the good fat found in regular peanut butter and adds WAY more sugar. Shouldn’t I be stressing less about calories and more about substance?
The answer, of course, is yes. Substance should trump calories any day. If my calories exceed 1750 (not be a HUGE amount) but provide my body with the proper nutrition to fuel my exercise and metabolism isn’t that the most important thing? For the record I did not consume the cookie.
I choose healthy options to make up my eating for today:
Piece of Whole Wheat Toast with Tablespoon Nutella
Soy Milk
8 bottles of water
2 glasses of water
Grande Mint Green Tea Iced
Grande Hot Peppermint Tea (black)
2 Cups Protein Plus Cereal
2 Appels
2 Bananas
Single Serving of Almonds
Yogurt
Cup of Steamed Veggies
Two spoon full of Spaghetti O’s
Grilled Turkey Burger with Swiss (no bun)
Bowl of Chocolate Lucky Charm for a dessert with 2 percent Milk
I found that I had a day full of taste and healthy foods that fueled my body for my day and 40 minute workout. While calories are important, it’s important to measure your diet in more than the total number of calories in something. I need to look beyond the calories. For example that 100 calorie pack of Oreo’s is not going to provide me with the same benefits of those 150 calories of almonds or piece of fruit.
The lesson here is read more deeply into those labels that say Low Fat, Fat Free, or Low Calorie. Read those labels and compare them to the original. You might find that those labels are deceptive in telling you something is good for you remember. Remember 20 less calories might seem good, but what do they add/take away in the other areas? Calorie counting is NOT the answer!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Buttoned?
It’s generally the feared moment in which we realize, “I need to lose weight. ”We tug and pull at harsh denim willing it over our thighs. We inhale, sucking in every once of fat (praying that it will magically disappear) as our fingers force the button shut. Two destinies await; either the sweet victory of getting those jeans buttoned or the agony of defeat as we attempt to permanently hold the jeans closed with our fingers.
We’ve all been there; the will it fit moment? We’ve had those “Yay!” moments as we slip back into a size smaller and a “Oh no” moment when we barely get those jeans buttoned and remains of the flab flop over the jeans; a white flag of our impeding surrender to the bulge. Today I had the “Oh no” moment. I came home from work happily ready to run errands with Liam. “I just want to put a pair of jeans on.” It was an innocent enough phrase unaware of the horror that lie ahead of me. It was like watching a scary movie. The audience screaming, “Don’t go down there!” I went down there. I pulled a pair of jeans out of the dryer. I had comfortably worn those jeans all weekend. I slipped one leg in, another, and began to pull up…”oh no.” It felt so surreal. I tugged and yanked them up over my thighs. They slowly moved their way upwards and I fought to button them.
Liam stood in the doorway, watching. It was like watching a train wreck. I could tell he wanted to look away, but was mesmerized by the scene. “What the hell?” I exclaimed. I barely could get them buttoned. I flopped to the bed in the guest room, much like a child having a tantrum, and started to cry. I felt like such a failure! “I’ve been working so hard. I am eating everything right. I’m drinking water. I’m working out.” I blubbered. Liam sat beside me, rubbing my back and spouted off anything he could think of to comfort me and explain. “Your weight fluctuates during the day. You weigh more in the evenings. Did you drink enough water? Flush your system out. Your on your period (can’t believe I just shared that, but oh well) and you could be bloated.” He was so sweet.
I felt so cliché, sitting there in tears over a pair of jeans. It really wasn’t the jeans. It was what they symbolized for me; failure. I felt like a failure. Liam left to run those errands; alone. I vented my frustrations by baking yummies that I would NOT partake in. I am living vicariously through coworkers. Instead of eating cookies when depressed, I bake them so others can eat them. Baking helped. Next was on to a 60 minute intense cardio, core, and Yoga workout. Dinner was a bowl of protein cereal, piece of fruit, and six glasses of water.
It really wasn’t the most appropriate response. It was as if I was attempting to magically make those jeans fit by working out extra hard and eating extra well (I eat six small meals throughout the day instead of three big ones, hence the small dinner). The issue here isn’t that I failed. Honestly, I didn’t fail. There could be a million reasons for the jeans; most notably them coming fresh out of the dryer and me being incredibly bloated. I weighed myself and I actually weigh a pound less than I did in the morning. The real issue here is my reaction to a perceived failure and measuring my success in a pair of jeans fitting.
Is that success? No. Yes, slipping into a pair of jeans (a size smaller) feels like victory. It’s not victory. It’s a symptom of victory. The true victory is that I have been eating well and exercising five days a week. The true victory is that I am feeling better. I have more energy. I can feel my endurance, strength, balance, and flexibility are improving. These are the true victories. I can run a mile without stopping; feet I could NOT do in High School. If only Jogging Judy; my High School PE Teacher, could see me now!
This is the lesson from the Jeans Meltdown; success is not measured in denim. So, the next time you struggle to pull that faded blue denim over your thighs, remember it doesn’t define your success or failure. Take it as it is, a pair of jeans not fitting. Then move on from there. Turn those not fitting jeans into fitting jeans with improved diet and increased activity that leads to a healthier you. Give yourself a break. Reframe those barely buttoned jeans into an opportunity to shape you, not just those thighs.
That’s what I hope to do. Let’s see if I can slip them on tomorrow, if not there always sweatpants! Those sweatpants define my success each day as I pull the sweaty pair off my exercised body! Ok, that was gross. You get what I mean, though.
We’ve all been there; the will it fit moment? We’ve had those “Yay!” moments as we slip back into a size smaller and a “Oh no” moment when we barely get those jeans buttoned and remains of the flab flop over the jeans; a white flag of our impeding surrender to the bulge. Today I had the “Oh no” moment. I came home from work happily ready to run errands with Liam. “I just want to put a pair of jeans on.” It was an innocent enough phrase unaware of the horror that lie ahead of me. It was like watching a scary movie. The audience screaming, “Don’t go down there!” I went down there. I pulled a pair of jeans out of the dryer. I had comfortably worn those jeans all weekend. I slipped one leg in, another, and began to pull up…”oh no.” It felt so surreal. I tugged and yanked them up over my thighs. They slowly moved their way upwards and I fought to button them.
Liam stood in the doorway, watching. It was like watching a train wreck. I could tell he wanted to look away, but was mesmerized by the scene. “What the hell?” I exclaimed. I barely could get them buttoned. I flopped to the bed in the guest room, much like a child having a tantrum, and started to cry. I felt like such a failure! “I’ve been working so hard. I am eating everything right. I’m drinking water. I’m working out.” I blubbered. Liam sat beside me, rubbing my back and spouted off anything he could think of to comfort me and explain. “Your weight fluctuates during the day. You weigh more in the evenings. Did you drink enough water? Flush your system out. Your on your period (can’t believe I just shared that, but oh well) and you could be bloated.” He was so sweet.
I felt so cliché, sitting there in tears over a pair of jeans. It really wasn’t the jeans. It was what they symbolized for me; failure. I felt like a failure. Liam left to run those errands; alone. I vented my frustrations by baking yummies that I would NOT partake in. I am living vicariously through coworkers. Instead of eating cookies when depressed, I bake them so others can eat them. Baking helped. Next was on to a 60 minute intense cardio, core, and Yoga workout. Dinner was a bowl of protein cereal, piece of fruit, and six glasses of water.
It really wasn’t the most appropriate response. It was as if I was attempting to magically make those jeans fit by working out extra hard and eating extra well (I eat six small meals throughout the day instead of three big ones, hence the small dinner). The issue here isn’t that I failed. Honestly, I didn’t fail. There could be a million reasons for the jeans; most notably them coming fresh out of the dryer and me being incredibly bloated. I weighed myself and I actually weigh a pound less than I did in the morning. The real issue here is my reaction to a perceived failure and measuring my success in a pair of jeans fitting.
Is that success? No. Yes, slipping into a pair of jeans (a size smaller) feels like victory. It’s not victory. It’s a symptom of victory. The true victory is that I have been eating well and exercising five days a week. The true victory is that I am feeling better. I have more energy. I can feel my endurance, strength, balance, and flexibility are improving. These are the true victories. I can run a mile without stopping; feet I could NOT do in High School. If only Jogging Judy; my High School PE Teacher, could see me now!
This is the lesson from the Jeans Meltdown; success is not measured in denim. So, the next time you struggle to pull that faded blue denim over your thighs, remember it doesn’t define your success or failure. Take it as it is, a pair of jeans not fitting. Then move on from there. Turn those not fitting jeans into fitting jeans with improved diet and increased activity that leads to a healthier you. Give yourself a break. Reframe those barely buttoned jeans into an opportunity to shape you, not just those thighs.
That’s what I hope to do. Let’s see if I can slip them on tomorrow, if not there always sweatpants! Those sweatpants define my success each day as I pull the sweaty pair off my exercised body! Ok, that was gross. You get what I mean, though.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Sharing Our Stories
This blog began as a way that I could release my feelings and thoughts about weight loss. It was about me utilizing the Blog World to hold being accountable and keeps me on the path. As well, it was about sharing my story.
What I didn’t realize that it was also about me being a good friend; by sharing my story. By standing up and saying, “I am a Fat Guy.” I was letting those that read my words; my friends, do the same. Nobody takes this journey alone. To truly be success in weight loss and remain successful, we need support.
Our journeys are richer with the laughter and cheers of friends. Our journeys find meaning in the stories they tell along the way. Our journey finds guidance in the maps they provide. Our journeys are possible with the resources; love, support, and kindness, they give us.
The last year I have NOT been alone in my journey. I have been able to find my own personal cheerleading squad in my friends and family. They have and continue to cheer me on and I am so very grateful for those in my life that have supported me through this journey.
However, a truth stared me in the face. Have I been doing the same? By not continuing to write my story I was not being a good friend. I slipped into my own world depriving those that call me friend, who look to me for support, guidance, and friendship on their journey. I promise to continue to be there and share my story.
Remember that the biggest tool in your weight loss journey is sharing your story. Share your struggles. Share your joys. Share your sorrow. Share you victories. Share your failures. Share. By sharing you offer support to both yourself and those around you. They gain strength in watching your journey, on their own. Baring witness allows us to grow. If my story has inspired, just think how your story will inspire others.
What I didn’t realize that it was also about me being a good friend; by sharing my story. By standing up and saying, “I am a Fat Guy.” I was letting those that read my words; my friends, do the same. Nobody takes this journey alone. To truly be success in weight loss and remain successful, we need support.
Our journeys are richer with the laughter and cheers of friends. Our journeys find meaning in the stories they tell along the way. Our journey finds guidance in the maps they provide. Our journeys are possible with the resources; love, support, and kindness, they give us.
The last year I have NOT been alone in my journey. I have been able to find my own personal cheerleading squad in my friends and family. They have and continue to cheer me on and I am so very grateful for those in my life that have supported me through this journey.
However, a truth stared me in the face. Have I been doing the same? By not continuing to write my story I was not being a good friend. I slipped into my own world depriving those that call me friend, who look to me for support, guidance, and friendship on their journey. I promise to continue to be there and share my story.
Remember that the biggest tool in your weight loss journey is sharing your story. Share your struggles. Share your joys. Share your sorrow. Share you victories. Share your failures. Share. By sharing you offer support to both yourself and those around you. They gain strength in watching your journey, on their own. Baring witness allows us to grow. If my story has inspired, just think how your story will inspire others.
Me and Kate; one of my workout buddies, who I talk to daily about my diet and exercise
Me, Kate, and Meghan: Both provide me strength, support, and encouragement on my journey
Me and Papa: He Cheered me on
Liam and Me: He Cheers me on daily and allows me to do what I need to do to be successful
Me and Lishey: She and I talk about Healthy Eating and Encourage each other on Daily Exercise. We also laugh A LOT!
Mom and Me: She's lost 20lbs over the last months. We are sharing this journey. She's behind me, as always!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Life Happens
Life is what happens when you’re making plans. I don’t remember who said it. It might have been John Lennon; although, I feel like whenever anyone can’t think of who said some profound quote we give John Lennon the credit. As if he didn’t have enough to do, he sat around saying profound things. Of course, isn’t that what I am trying to do? Although, who am I? I am not ¼ of History’s most popular Music Band. I am just me. I am a girl on a journey; weight loss, getting healthy, discovery, reinvention, or just life.
This is what this journey is about; my life. It’s about enriching my life. It’s about extending my life. It’s about making my life possible. Of course, what I didn’t count on was that life would become the greatest obstacle in my journey.
Inevitably each of us will run into obstacles. Whatever our journey. Something will pop up in our path. I don’t say this to be pessimistic, but realistic. I don’t believe cautious optimism is bad. It allows to us to continue to look forward with hope; however, prepare for what may happen to derail us. It’s preparation, not pessimism. When I think pessimism I think; already giving up. Cautious optimism is hope with a plan. Of course, what happens when the plan fails? What happens when we lose our plan? What do we do without our plan?
One cannot say ‘til they are in that moment. My moment happened over the last several months. I moved hundreds of miles away from my family, friends, home, and life. In a new city living with a new family; my boyfriend Liam, I would start anew. New job. New home. New everything. My plan seemed to slip away. I was in uncharted territory trying to deal with the new.
While trying to deal with and build a new life in Independence, MO I lost pieces of my old life; namely some of the very good habits I had forged through the last year of my journey. I was a little sad and alone. Rather than forging ahead, I wallowed. I slipped back into bad habits. Food became comfort. Granted I wasn’t eating as poorly as I had once been, but indulged far more than I should. Exercise became a long distance lover I only meet once or twice a week.
Then the unthinkable. No, I didn’t gain weight. My life took another unplanned turn. The man I thought would never die, died. My grandfather. He was the most important person in my life. He was my father and best friend. He gave me the strength and support along my journey; my entire journey, not just the last twelve months. On November 12th, the day after Veteran’s day, my own personal hero died. It seems strange to write this, even stranger to stand over his casket and say goodbye.
Though it’s been a few months, I still reach for the phone to call him and tell him about my day. He cheered for me my entire life. He said how proud he was of me, especially in the last twelve months. He said he was happy to see me so healthy, happy, and beautiful. He always said I was beautiful, but seeing the new glow and smile on my face announced my beauty to the world. He loved having the world finally see me as he had always seen me.
What does any of this have to do with weight loss? Perhaps, it doesn’t. Then again, I think it does. Our weight and health is entangled in every aspect of our lives. When we’re happy we gain or lose. The same when we’re sad, angry, or stressed. For the last several months my life has felt out of control. Their has been so many changes, which I have not embraced. I was happy and excited, but not prepared for how it would alter my journey.
Although, that felt like I was blaming life. Things happen. When things happen they happen for a reason. It’s part of my journey, not just an obstacle to get around. It helps me grow and provides me with maps for my continued journey. That’s what I have learned over the last several months. My journey was not derailed or stopped. I am still marching along towards an unknown destination, after all is is about a journey but a destination. So, I’ll enjoy this journey and grow from ALL aspects; good and not-so-good.
That’s what I am doing now. I am back on the path and doing fantastic. I have taken back my good habits to fuel my journey; 5lbs down and feeling great. Here’s to losing 41lbs in 2011 and continuing a life of healthy living!
Thank you.
This is what this journey is about; my life. It’s about enriching my life. It’s about extending my life. It’s about making my life possible. Of course, what I didn’t count on was that life would become the greatest obstacle in my journey.
Inevitably each of us will run into obstacles. Whatever our journey. Something will pop up in our path. I don’t say this to be pessimistic, but realistic. I don’t believe cautious optimism is bad. It allows to us to continue to look forward with hope; however, prepare for what may happen to derail us. It’s preparation, not pessimism. When I think pessimism I think; already giving up. Cautious optimism is hope with a plan. Of course, what happens when the plan fails? What happens when we lose our plan? What do we do without our plan?
One cannot say ‘til they are in that moment. My moment happened over the last several months. I moved hundreds of miles away from my family, friends, home, and life. In a new city living with a new family; my boyfriend Liam, I would start anew. New job. New home. New everything. My plan seemed to slip away. I was in uncharted territory trying to deal with the new.
While trying to deal with and build a new life in Independence, MO I lost pieces of my old life; namely some of the very good habits I had forged through the last year of my journey. I was a little sad and alone. Rather than forging ahead, I wallowed. I slipped back into bad habits. Food became comfort. Granted I wasn’t eating as poorly as I had once been, but indulged far more than I should. Exercise became a long distance lover I only meet once or twice a week.
Then the unthinkable. No, I didn’t gain weight. My life took another unplanned turn. The man I thought would never die, died. My grandfather. He was the most important person in my life. He was my father and best friend. He gave me the strength and support along my journey; my entire journey, not just the last twelve months. On November 12th, the day after Veteran’s day, my own personal hero died. It seems strange to write this, even stranger to stand over his casket and say goodbye.
Though it’s been a few months, I still reach for the phone to call him and tell him about my day. He cheered for me my entire life. He said how proud he was of me, especially in the last twelve months. He said he was happy to see me so healthy, happy, and beautiful. He always said I was beautiful, but seeing the new glow and smile on my face announced my beauty to the world. He loved having the world finally see me as he had always seen me.
What does any of this have to do with weight loss? Perhaps, it doesn’t. Then again, I think it does. Our weight and health is entangled in every aspect of our lives. When we’re happy we gain or lose. The same when we’re sad, angry, or stressed. For the last several months my life has felt out of control. Their has been so many changes, which I have not embraced. I was happy and excited, but not prepared for how it would alter my journey.
Although, that felt like I was blaming life. Things happen. When things happen they happen for a reason. It’s part of my journey, not just an obstacle to get around. It helps me grow and provides me with maps for my continued journey. That’s what I have learned over the last several months. My journey was not derailed or stopped. I am still marching along towards an unknown destination, after all is is about a journey but a destination. So, I’ll enjoy this journey and grow from ALL aspects; good and not-so-good.
That’s what I am doing now. I am back on the path and doing fantastic. I have taken back my good habits to fuel my journey; 5lbs down and feeling great. Here’s to losing 41lbs in 2011 and continuing a life of healthy living!
Thank you.
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