The Struggle

We all have secrets. Our weight loss journey shouldn’t be one of them. So often we quietly lurk in the shadows hiding our weight loss journey. We secretly change our diet. We think to ourselves about the changes that we need to make. We go alone to the gym or sweat away to a workout DVD when the house is empty.




Whatever the reasons weight loss journeys often feel deeply personal, therefore we tend not to share them. Perhaps, it’s a fear of failure? If we announce we are on a weight loss journey and “fail” our failure burns brightly in the gaze of others. Maybe it’s that any moments of “cheating” are magnified when others know. So, that piece of cake at work or not working out for a week becomes symbols of our failure. If the only one watching is we, it feels easier to slip in and out of that journey. There’s no accountability, not even to yourself.



The issue is we’ve struggled silently alone for years. For those that are heavy we often only share our pain with ourselves and often not even that. Being heavy is, well, heavy. It takes an emotional and physical toll on our overall health. I was always the kind and funny chubby friend. I seldom spoke about the issues with my weight: the impeding medical issues that awaited me if I didn’t change my lifestyle, those rude comments from others, or the feeling of not fitting in a world where fat was mass produced by cultural values of overeating, while ridiculed by that same culture. I hated clothes shopping with girlfriends, because I knew nothing in the store would fit. Rather than embrace my sadness over stores not carrying my size, I would make jokes or spout off theories of fat oppression. These all cloaked a feeling of being alone. I was the one dealing with my weight struggle; alone.



However, I wasn’t alone. In my life were friends and family that truly cared about my health and happiness. They wanted to see me share all of me; even my struggles. I didn’t have to carry the burden of weight alone. When I took those first meaningful steps towards becoming a healthier Melissa I realized I needed to finally let my secret out. It was like standing up at an AA meeting, “Hello, my name is Melissa and I am fat.” I admitted it out loud to others, which allowed me to finally stop hiding it from the world. When we hide our struggles and who we are from the world, we are really attempting to hide it from ourselves. Even though we see glimpses of the truth, until we face it that truth never becomes reality. The moments we share our truth, the world knows, and we accept it.



I shared my struggles with those in my life that truly cared for me. In return I found strength. I found strength in finally being honest. Each day I exchange an e-mail with two of my closest friends: Kate and Meghan that details my diet for that day, struggles on this journey, and activities. Through this process I have found encouragement and accountability. Accountability is another wonderful result of living in the light. When others see our truths they often will walk along our journey with us providing us with the needed second pair of eyes on our map.



I believe that this journey should be done in the open. Share your struggles; your truth. It allows others to finally see all of you, but most importantly it allows yourself to finally see yourself. The struggles are apart of our journey; whatever they may be. I have found great strength in sharing the struggle. None of us need to struggle alone.