I dumped a soda down the drain today. That’s $1.50 wasted. Sluggish and craving the quick fix of a carbonated beverage I hit the local market and bought a soda. It was a 5 minute round trip. Sitting in my office I smiled as the bubbles washed into my belly. As I sat there mindlessly sipping the soda trying to focus on my conference call it hit me; I was mindlessly consuming 250 calories, 25 mg of Sodium, 25 mg of sugar, and ZERO nutrients. Then the embarrassment and shame swept over me, washing away that simple satisfaction of the soda.
In those few moments I thought about my goals, my journey, and the things that could derail it. It’s easy to fall back into bad habits. “It’s only one.” “Live a little.” All the ways we lie to ourselves. I couldn’t justify it. There really isn’t any justification. It’s an unhealthy habit.
So, I did the only logical thing I could do; I dumped it down the drain. I cringed at the wasted money, but the idea of finishing it or leaving it to sip on during the week left a bad taste in my mouth that the soda couldn’t wash away. Finishing it would only fuel the lies I told myself. Drinking it made me feel like a fraud; to myself and to those I care about who are supporting me on this journey.
I write this to hold myself accountable. That’s a big part of this journey; accountability. Gaining the weight symbolizes the ultimate lack of taking responsibility for my actions. I would allow myself to make unhealthy choices, not facing the reality of what these unhealthy choices are doing to me.
I must not forget to continue to hold myself accountable. If I don’t, my journey will be for nothing. We all sigh, when we see our friends lose a lot of weight and gain it all back. Without accountability we are doomed to repeat our own mistakes. Accountability must be a life-long lesson and practice. Change is not a destination, but a journey. It is never ending. I must remain diligent and true.
