Tomorrow I am co-hosting a “Walk/Roll” event at my office. It’s in conjunction with one of our Medical Centers that does a Wellness Event where staff and patient walk a 2k. It’s about getting out there and moving. As the Network Office we are participating, serving as the leaders we should be. It really got me thinking about being a leader v. follower.
With taking charge of one’s health, it’s all about taking the lead. You’re no longer following blindly hoping not to tumble down the steps. By taking charge of my health it’s like a person with a visual impairment learning to use the guide cane. It puts them on a new journey of endless possibilities. They may not see what’s a head of them, but they have the tools to get there.
That’s the trick about getting healthy; it’s about learning to use the tools to help you get there. Where’s there? It really isn’t a destination, because this journey will never, truly, end. The moment we say, “I’m done,” we lose. We stop moving forward.
I don’t want to stop moving forward, watching others lap me. I want to lead my journey and discover to paths and adventures.
Starting the Journey
This is how I started my journey (taken in May 2009)
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
The Downside of going Down
There are many, many positive things about this journey. I rave about the numerous benefits of losing weight over and over again. I am like a “get healthy” broken record. However, if I paint this journey in shade of rose color I am not doing it or myself justice. The truth is, while there are many positives, there are a few negatives about this journey. Let’s face the negative, while embracing the positive. Here are the negatives that I have faced since starting this journey:
(1) My breasts have gotten smaller. Yes, the loss in width is much appreciated. However, as I stuffed myself into a sports bra the other day I remarked, “They are smaller.” Yes, the cup size has been gradually shrinking as I shrink. It’s causing me to re-examining my status as a large chested lass and finds other parts of my physique to incorporate into my style.
(2) Buying new clothes! Though there is no illegal/legal high that compares to pulling on a size smaller pair of jeans or buying a dress in a store other than Lane Bryant (and not in their plus size section), this need to buy new clothing begins to add up. I work in an office in which I have to be dressed professionally, so dressing well is a part of the job. Therefore, I can’t rock a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt that are two sizes too big. Sigh, if only I embraced this journey while in college. I could have gotten through two years in a hoodie and sweatpants only to reveal my new figure during my junior year.
Those appear to be the negatives that I have come to grips with during my journey. However, the positives surely outweigh (no pun intended) the negative. I find the humor in the negative consequences in this journey. It’s kind of refreshing to have these problems vs. diabetes, hypertension, COPD, heart disease, and any manner of medical conditions that would have been in my future if I remained in the Fat Guy lane.
(1) My breasts have gotten smaller. Yes, the loss in width is much appreciated. However, as I stuffed myself into a sports bra the other day I remarked, “They are smaller.” Yes, the cup size has been gradually shrinking as I shrink. It’s causing me to re-examining my status as a large chested lass and finds other parts of my physique to incorporate into my style.
(2) Buying new clothes! Though there is no illegal/legal high that compares to pulling on a size smaller pair of jeans or buying a dress in a store other than Lane Bryant (and not in their plus size section), this need to buy new clothing begins to add up. I work in an office in which I have to be dressed professionally, so dressing well is a part of the job. Therefore, I can’t rock a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt that are two sizes too big. Sigh, if only I embraced this journey while in college. I could have gotten through two years in a hoodie and sweatpants only to reveal my new figure during my junior year.
Those appear to be the negatives that I have come to grips with during my journey. However, the positives surely outweigh (no pun intended) the negative. I find the humor in the negative consequences in this journey. It’s kind of refreshing to have these problems vs. diabetes, hypertension, COPD, heart disease, and any manner of medical conditions that would have been in my future if I remained in the Fat Guy lane.
Monday, May 9, 2011
A Journey with Sam Ganges
For the last three months I have been up every weekday at 4 a.m. to sweat away in the dark coolness of early morning. My muscles are gently awaken by the slowness of a yoga a.m. routine, only to be jolted by Jillian Michaels. Then it’s 200 crunches with Tony Horton. After that my morning begins. It’s my time for me. Alone in the darkness I sweat away all signs of sleep to find myself awake and ready for the day.
This morning ritual hasn’t changed; however, a new one seems to be taking hold at night. Liam is my partner in all meanings of the word. He too embraces this journey, encouraging me every step of the way. The last two nights we’ve been hitting the gym together. I call it my bonus workout. Though I will not relinquish my mornings sweating in solitude, these evenings workouts provide me with the emotional bonus one needs on this journey; support. As the sweat cascaded down, the salt stinging my eyes, Liam’s voice saying, “You’re doing great baby,” whispered in my ears. Through the deep breaths I smiled; one of those full faced smiles. We hadn’t spoken for thirty minutes. He was on the treadmill jogging; I was finishing my cardio circuit on the bike. Even though our minds drifted inwards, I knew he was there with me. Liam was providing me with the support and encouragement we all need.
It made me think of the importance of friendship on this journey. Our relationships with others propel us into greatness. You don’t have to be a Psychologist to understand that concept. We are social creatures and thrive with interaction with others. The social side of our lives largely impacts the personal. Why else do we so a group of heavy female friends or a heavy set couple? Why else does an obesity issue run in families? It’s not simply genetic. That would be far too simplistic of an answer. Then we could learn to target the “fat” gene and create a genetic antidote. I would argue that the social is a huge reason for the lifestyles that we live. Family, friend, lovers, coworkers…etc all have a large impact on the choices we make. We can say we’re immune and are our own person…blah blah…and we are. We are our own person, able to make our own choices. However, it’s important to site the impact others have on our lives.
Nobody ever truly loses weight on their own. It’s important to embrace and see the strength gained through sharing your journey with others. Friends can hold you accountable, support you, or encourage you. Today I leered like a hungry tiger at a chocolate cupcake with peanut butter frosting. “Can a cupcake be lunch?” I asked Liam. He smirked and said, “What would Jillian Michaels say?” Enough said. I needed that reality check, which he supplied in making a good choice. It just illustrates my point of welcoming companions on your journey, the helpful kind like Sam Ganges from “Lord of the Rings” that will push you to do the right thing.
This morning ritual hasn’t changed; however, a new one seems to be taking hold at night. Liam is my partner in all meanings of the word. He too embraces this journey, encouraging me every step of the way. The last two nights we’ve been hitting the gym together. I call it my bonus workout. Though I will not relinquish my mornings sweating in solitude, these evenings workouts provide me with the emotional bonus one needs on this journey; support. As the sweat cascaded down, the salt stinging my eyes, Liam’s voice saying, “You’re doing great baby,” whispered in my ears. Through the deep breaths I smiled; one of those full faced smiles. We hadn’t spoken for thirty minutes. He was on the treadmill jogging; I was finishing my cardio circuit on the bike. Even though our minds drifted inwards, I knew he was there with me. Liam was providing me with the support and encouragement we all need.
It made me think of the importance of friendship on this journey. Our relationships with others propel us into greatness. You don’t have to be a Psychologist to understand that concept. We are social creatures and thrive with interaction with others. The social side of our lives largely impacts the personal. Why else do we so a group of heavy female friends or a heavy set couple? Why else does an obesity issue run in families? It’s not simply genetic. That would be far too simplistic of an answer. Then we could learn to target the “fat” gene and create a genetic antidote. I would argue that the social is a huge reason for the lifestyles that we live. Family, friend, lovers, coworkers…etc all have a large impact on the choices we make. We can say we’re immune and are our own person…blah blah…and we are. We are our own person, able to make our own choices. However, it’s important to site the impact others have on our lives.
Nobody ever truly loses weight on their own. It’s important to embrace and see the strength gained through sharing your journey with others. Friends can hold you accountable, support you, or encourage you. Today I leered like a hungry tiger at a chocolate cupcake with peanut butter frosting. “Can a cupcake be lunch?” I asked Liam. He smirked and said, “What would Jillian Michaels say?” Enough said. I needed that reality check, which he supplied in making a good choice. It just illustrates my point of welcoming companions on your journey, the helpful kind like Sam Ganges from “Lord of the Rings” that will push you to do the right thing.
Liam and I enjoying a dinner out
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Telling Lies
Justifications always creep up, whenever we want them to. We keep them hidden in our back pocket to pull out at a moment’s notice. “I have had a tough day.” “I am celebrating.” “I woke up this morning.” Whatever it takes to justify our “bad” behavior of not working our or eating healthy.
It’s easier to say, “I deserve this,” than face the truth: the justifications are lies we tell ourselves. That’s the truth; they are lies. It’s much easier to doll up those lies with the bow of justification, when the truth is these are excuses. These excuses cause us to stray from our journey, taking a detour in a truck stop with no redemption. Before you know it your bellied up to the counter with the only level of exertion is pouring gravy over everything.
This seems a rather melodramatic scene; however, it is a very real consequence. We utilize these “justifications” over and over again. We begin to turn to bad behavior each time things go good or bad. Chocolate becomes our treat for waking up or refuge for a typo. It’s important to reframe how we look at celebrating success or handling bad moments; often food or taking time off mark these good and bad moments. A cake is purchased to celebrate a new job. A pint of ice cream wipes away our tears after a fight with our significant other. Wrapped up in a blanket on the couch watching a sappy movie feels like the best medicine after a tense-filled day.
While these all feel like the answers, they are not the best answers for solving the many questions that pop up during our journey. It’s important to begin to look at those lies we tell ourselves to justify bad choices and look at new answers. Perhaps, a short walk to clear your head after a tense-filled day, maybe a night out dancing to celebrate that raise, or a kickboxing class with a good friend to get out that aggression over a breakup.
Whatever the celebration or sadness that arise, don’t diminish the happiness or add to the sadness by straying off your path. The lies we tell ourselves only continue the fat guy delusion leading to unhealthy choices/consequences.
It’s easier to say, “I deserve this,” than face the truth: the justifications are lies we tell ourselves. That’s the truth; they are lies. It’s much easier to doll up those lies with the bow of justification, when the truth is these are excuses. These excuses cause us to stray from our journey, taking a detour in a truck stop with no redemption. Before you know it your bellied up to the counter with the only level of exertion is pouring gravy over everything.
This seems a rather melodramatic scene; however, it is a very real consequence. We utilize these “justifications” over and over again. We begin to turn to bad behavior each time things go good or bad. Chocolate becomes our treat for waking up or refuge for a typo. It’s important to reframe how we look at celebrating success or handling bad moments; often food or taking time off mark these good and bad moments. A cake is purchased to celebrate a new job. A pint of ice cream wipes away our tears after a fight with our significant other. Wrapped up in a blanket on the couch watching a sappy movie feels like the best medicine after a tense-filled day.
While these all feel like the answers, they are not the best answers for solving the many questions that pop up during our journey. It’s important to begin to look at those lies we tell ourselves to justify bad choices and look at new answers. Perhaps, a short walk to clear your head after a tense-filled day, maybe a night out dancing to celebrate that raise, or a kickboxing class with a good friend to get out that aggression over a breakup.
Whatever the celebration or sadness that arise, don’t diminish the happiness or add to the sadness by straying off your path. The lies we tell ourselves only continue the fat guy delusion leading to unhealthy choices/consequences.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Celebrating Tiny Victories!
Often we get caught up in the bigger picture and forget the details, when it comes to our weight loss journey. We inhale loudly as we climb on the scale and hold our breath waiting for the arrow to stop at our number. We stop breathing as if the breath will cause us to weight more. The arrow ceases. Our eyes gaze down and there sits victory, defeat, or stagnation.
Whichever we find we place so much emphasis on that aspect of the journey; the “final” destination. Though it’s important to have goals to reach towards, it’s important to look at pieces of our journey. Did we decrease the amount of sodas we drank during the week? Did we work out more? Did we run ten minutes without stopping? Did we have veggies with our meal instead of French fries? All of these are just as important, if not more, in our weight loss journey.
The truth is some people can eat junk food and lose weight. Losing weight is about watching calories. If the goal is to lose weight and nothing else then you are failing yourself. This journey should be measured by the elements in a healthy lifestyle. It’s important to find the victories in each moment of this journey or else your path will be covered in weeds and fallen branches hindering your journey.
Celebrate those tiny victories throughout the week. The joy will fuel your journey. Tiny flowers of success will line the path as you walk this life-long journey. I have to remind myself to do this each time I step on the scale. I cannot live and die by the scale. This isn’t the Biggest Loser. I am not going to lose a million dollars if I don’t lose weight; however, if I don’t focus on what’s truly important; my health, I will lose me. I will slip back into bad habits. I will beat myself up for being a failure. Failure will lead to me not carrying on in embracing being the best Melissa I am, while honoring the steps I have taken towards that goal.
Whichever we find we place so much emphasis on that aspect of the journey; the “final” destination. Though it’s important to have goals to reach towards, it’s important to look at pieces of our journey. Did we decrease the amount of sodas we drank during the week? Did we work out more? Did we run ten minutes without stopping? Did we have veggies with our meal instead of French fries? All of these are just as important, if not more, in our weight loss journey.
The truth is some people can eat junk food and lose weight. Losing weight is about watching calories. If the goal is to lose weight and nothing else then you are failing yourself. This journey should be measured by the elements in a healthy lifestyle. It’s important to find the victories in each moment of this journey or else your path will be covered in weeds and fallen branches hindering your journey.
Celebrate those tiny victories throughout the week. The joy will fuel your journey. Tiny flowers of success will line the path as you walk this life-long journey. I have to remind myself to do this each time I step on the scale. I cannot live and die by the scale. This isn’t the Biggest Loser. I am not going to lose a million dollars if I don’t lose weight; however, if I don’t focus on what’s truly important; my health, I will lose me. I will slip back into bad habits. I will beat myself up for being a failure. Failure will lead to me not carrying on in embracing being the best Melissa I am, while honoring the steps I have taken towards that goal.
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