With my eyes refusing to open and face the glow of the light bulb I drag myself out of bed each weekday at 4:20 a.m. My aches to snuggle back beneath the shelter of my blanket listening to the quiet hum of Liam’s breath as he remain asleep for additional two hours. I mumble something about this is for me as I pull on my workout clothes and cue up the DVD.
For the next 40 minutes I belong to whichever instructor I have chosen as my guide. Will it be high intense interval training (HIIT) with Jillian Michaels, circuit training with Bob Harper, or Flow Yoga with Cindy Whitmore? Whoever my trainer for that morning I am sure to end the work out gasping in a sweaty pile on the floor, reaching for a tall cold glass of water.
This is my morning ritual. Each day I pull myself out of bed and dedicate 40 minutes of my day to me. Think about your life. How much time during the day do you dedicate to you; to do something good for you? I am a Licensed Social Worker by training; therefore, professional trained to be that supporting influence in other’s lives. Also, I am a woman and program through years of gendered messages to care for others over myself. It may see why obesity issues play havoc of women, who are so commonly the caregivers in the lives of others.
I see my daily workout as time for me. During the work out I can let my mind shut off or I can dive into deep reflection. However, I spend the 40 minutes they are dedicated to me and me alone. I do not have to assist a coworker with an assignment, make dinner for anyone, be my mother’s shoulder, or listen to a friend. It’s not that I do these things begrudgingly. I love helping, encouraging, and supporting others. It appears to be genetic written into every fiber of my being.
However, I understand that giving of ourselves often lives little to none for us. It’s important to mark out time for ourselves. So often I hear people say, “I don’t have time to cook a healthy meal,” or “I don’t have time to work out.” This factor of time controlling their lives, rather than they controlling their time, is lost on them. Yes, we all lives in a world with days long to do lists. Although, how will be get any of those things done if we don’t take care of ourselves? Ask yourself who will take on your to do list when you are gone?
The truth is unhealthy lifestyles; the art of not taking time out for what is important for us, leads to a slue of consequences. We are more tired, deal with more health related issues, sluggish, trouble sleeping, unhappy…etc. The list can go on and on and on. Each day I start my morning off sacrificing my time for me. We so often sacrifice our time for others, why not ourselves? Why not take the time each day and dedicate it to your health. Use it to take a walk, work out, or cook a healthy meal v. getting that burger through your local fast food joint.
It’s okay to be a selfish, especially when it will enable you to rejoice and remain that support to friends and families. It’s what I tell myself each day as I catch my breath between workout moves. I am doing this for me so I can be a good friend, girlfriend, coworker, daughter, sister, aunt, and overall Melissa. Sacrifice the time for you.
Starting the Journey
This is how I started my journey (taken in May 2009)
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Who is that Fat Guy in the mirror?
I never saw myself as fat. I knew I was fat. There fact hadn’t escaped me. I didn’t live in a deep denial that manifested itself in my size 24 trying to wear a size 10 t-shirt. I know those people. I have seen them. They suck in deeply, as if that will cause the excess skin to suck back into their body permanently, as they wear that top that is a size too small. They live in their world of thinking, “It fits.” As long as it fits there is the illusion that they fit and are not… (Roll the “Jaws” music) fat.
I was never one of those people. I clearly knew I was fat. I knew there were only certain stores I could shop in. I wasn’t fooling myself by wearing a bikini that proudly displayed my entire bakery of rolls. However, when I looked in the mirror I didn’t see that fat guy gazing back at me. Those chubby cheeks or double chin didn’t stand out.
Now after losing so much weight, the chin being only one, and those cheeks not-so chubby I finally see that image that once was. As I look in the mirror I know see that fat guy. My perception appears warped. Everyone now and then I get glimpses of my new body. I see the narrowing of my waist, toning of my arms and thinness to my face. Those glimpse, though, are few and far between. Most days I see the image of what was.
It makes me wonder why that image of me still heavier plays so often in my head. Is it an attempt to remind of what was and not to go back? Is it a mild form of body dysmorphic syndrome? Is it that I haven’t changed at all?
Well, I have changed and I haven’t. Though I make healthier choices and put myself first now; something I wasn’t doing when I was heavier, I still remain that fat guy. There are parts of me that will always be that fat guy. I notice it when my mouth waters over a Pizza Hut commercial or how I can carry on an hour long conversation about food. He will always be apart of me.
Seeing that image in the mirror reminds me of that. It doesn’t make me feel bad about my body or me. The image serves as a reminder of needing to continue on with this journey and that what I see in front of me is not the answer. It is how I feel about me and not how I see myself that is most important in this journey. I love me. I feel good about the person I am becoming and the journey I am. Whether I have chubby cheeks or not in the mirror doesn’t change the way I feel.
I was never one of those people. I clearly knew I was fat. I knew there were only certain stores I could shop in. I wasn’t fooling myself by wearing a bikini that proudly displayed my entire bakery of rolls. However, when I looked in the mirror I didn’t see that fat guy gazing back at me. Those chubby cheeks or double chin didn’t stand out.
Now after losing so much weight, the chin being only one, and those cheeks not-so chubby I finally see that image that once was. As I look in the mirror I know see that fat guy. My perception appears warped. Everyone now and then I get glimpses of my new body. I see the narrowing of my waist, toning of my arms and thinness to my face. Those glimpse, though, are few and far between. Most days I see the image of what was.
It makes me wonder why that image of me still heavier plays so often in my head. Is it an attempt to remind of what was and not to go back? Is it a mild form of body dysmorphic syndrome? Is it that I haven’t changed at all?
Well, I have changed and I haven’t. Though I make healthier choices and put myself first now; something I wasn’t doing when I was heavier, I still remain that fat guy. There are parts of me that will always be that fat guy. I notice it when my mouth waters over a Pizza Hut commercial or how I can carry on an hour long conversation about food. He will always be apart of me.
Seeing that image in the mirror reminds me of that. It doesn’t make me feel bad about my body or me. The image serves as a reminder of needing to continue on with this journey and that what I see in front of me is not the answer. It is how I feel about me and not how I see myself that is most important in this journey. I love me. I feel good about the person I am becoming and the journey I am. Whether I have chubby cheeks or not in the mirror doesn’t change the way I feel.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
The Quick and Easy Way
The only way we can get healthy and stay healthy is through good old American hard work. We have to embrace that Protestant Work Ethic that has defined Early Americans. However, Current Americans are not looking for putting in the time and effort. We want the quick and easy fix. Now, this may seem centralistic and it may be; however, I am sure if we truly examine the current American Culture we see evidence of Quick and Easy all around us.
This became evident to me as I sat in a Marriot hotel room at 5:30 a.m. I have been up for an hour and already hit the gym. I sat on the bed eating fruit and drinking a protein shake for breakfast and listening to the TV. Early morning TV is known for its infomercials. I sometimes enjoy those early morning infomercials; however, this morning was one about a quick and easy way of losing weight. In the true fashion of diet pills and lap band surgery this product offers weight loss without having to eat healthy or work out.
Imagine getting the results of the weight melting off without doing ANY of the work? It sounds fantastic, doesn’t it? Not make ANY changes! Don’t learn to make healthy choices! Never learn how to build a healthy lifestyle to serve as a model to your friends and family. You take the easy way out and reap the short term benefits of weight loss without work.
As I sat there after my 30 minute cardio work out, thinking about last night’s Yoga work out, and eating my healthy breakfast I couldn’t help to think about how the last 18 months of my journey would have been like if I just bought this magical product and continued on my pre-healthy lifestyle way? Yes, I may have lost weight, but I wouldn’t have learned good habits. I would have lost the weight; however, continue to eat unhealthy. Little known fact to the general public Skinny People have unhealthy habits that cause them significant health issues like High Blood Pressure, Cholesterol, Heart Disease, and Diabetes. While heavy weight contributes to these conditions a continued unhealthy lifestyle enables these conditions to take hold of an individual. As someone working in health care I have seen thin patients experiencing the same issues as heavy patients.
Taking the easy way out won’t fix the situation. In fact taking the easy way out is how I got into the mess in the first place. After all isn’t it easier to eat WHATEVER I want, not exercise, and not participate in a healthy lifestyle?
So, as I sit here listening to individuals praise the quick fix: the new mantra of the current American people, I wonder how this mentality contributed to me becoming a fat guy? I sit back and wonder at what point will these quick and easy fixes become less attractive; even to me? I would be a liar if I didn’t say I googled the product to find out information on success rates. Even I am seduced by the quick and easy. However, if I embrace that way of thinking I’ll quickly and easily slip back into my fat guy ways.
This became evident to me as I sat in a Marriot hotel room at 5:30 a.m. I have been up for an hour and already hit the gym. I sat on the bed eating fruit and drinking a protein shake for breakfast and listening to the TV. Early morning TV is known for its infomercials. I sometimes enjoy those early morning infomercials; however, this morning was one about a quick and easy way of losing weight. In the true fashion of diet pills and lap band surgery this product offers weight loss without having to eat healthy or work out.
Imagine getting the results of the weight melting off without doing ANY of the work? It sounds fantastic, doesn’t it? Not make ANY changes! Don’t learn to make healthy choices! Never learn how to build a healthy lifestyle to serve as a model to your friends and family. You take the easy way out and reap the short term benefits of weight loss without work.
As I sat there after my 30 minute cardio work out, thinking about last night’s Yoga work out, and eating my healthy breakfast I couldn’t help to think about how the last 18 months of my journey would have been like if I just bought this magical product and continued on my pre-healthy lifestyle way? Yes, I may have lost weight, but I wouldn’t have learned good habits. I would have lost the weight; however, continue to eat unhealthy. Little known fact to the general public Skinny People have unhealthy habits that cause them significant health issues like High Blood Pressure, Cholesterol, Heart Disease, and Diabetes. While heavy weight contributes to these conditions a continued unhealthy lifestyle enables these conditions to take hold of an individual. As someone working in health care I have seen thin patients experiencing the same issues as heavy patients.
Taking the easy way out won’t fix the situation. In fact taking the easy way out is how I got into the mess in the first place. After all isn’t it easier to eat WHATEVER I want, not exercise, and not participate in a healthy lifestyle?
So, as I sit here listening to individuals praise the quick fix: the new mantra of the current American people, I wonder how this mentality contributed to me becoming a fat guy? I sit back and wonder at what point will these quick and easy fixes become less attractive; even to me? I would be a liar if I didn’t say I googled the product to find out information on success rates. Even I am seduced by the quick and easy. However, if I embrace that way of thinking I’ll quickly and easily slip back into my fat guy ways.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
The Struggle
We all have secrets. Our weight loss journey shouldn’t be one of them. So often we quietly lurk in the shadows hiding our weight loss journey. We secretly change our diet. We think to ourselves about the changes that we need to make. We go alone to the gym or sweat away to a workout DVD when the house is empty.
Whatever the reasons weight loss journeys often feel deeply personal, therefore we tend not to share them. Perhaps, it’s a fear of failure? If we announce we are on a weight loss journey and “fail” our failure burns brightly in the gaze of others. Maybe it’s that any moments of “cheating” are magnified when others know. So, that piece of cake at work or not working out for a week becomes symbols of our failure. If the only one watching is we, it feels easier to slip in and out of that journey. There’s no accountability, not even to yourself.
The issue is we’ve struggled silently alone for years. For those that are heavy we often only share our pain with ourselves and often not even that. Being heavy is, well, heavy. It takes an emotional and physical toll on our overall health. I was always the kind and funny chubby friend. I seldom spoke about the issues with my weight: the impeding medical issues that awaited me if I didn’t change my lifestyle, those rude comments from others, or the feeling of not fitting in a world where fat was mass produced by cultural values of overeating, while ridiculed by that same culture. I hated clothes shopping with girlfriends, because I knew nothing in the store would fit. Rather than embrace my sadness over stores not carrying my size, I would make jokes or spout off theories of fat oppression. These all cloaked a feeling of being alone. I was the one dealing with my weight struggle; alone.
However, I wasn’t alone. In my life were friends and family that truly cared about my health and happiness. They wanted to see me share all of me; even my struggles. I didn’t have to carry the burden of weight alone. When I took those first meaningful steps towards becoming a healthier Melissa I realized I needed to finally let my secret out. It was like standing up at an AA meeting, “Hello, my name is Melissa and I am fat.” I admitted it out loud to others, which allowed me to finally stop hiding it from the world. When we hide our struggles and who we are from the world, we are really attempting to hide it from ourselves. Even though we see glimpses of the truth, until we face it that truth never becomes reality. The moments we share our truth, the world knows, and we accept it.
I shared my struggles with those in my life that truly cared for me. In return I found strength. I found strength in finally being honest. Each day I exchange an e-mail with two of my closest friends: Kate and Meghan that details my diet for that day, struggles on this journey, and activities. Through this process I have found encouragement and accountability. Accountability is another wonderful result of living in the light. When others see our truths they often will walk along our journey with us providing us with the needed second pair of eyes on our map.
I believe that this journey should be done in the open. Share your struggles; your truth. It allows others to finally see all of you, but most importantly it allows yourself to finally see yourself. The struggles are apart of our journey; whatever they may be. I have found great strength in sharing the struggle. None of us need to struggle alone.
Whatever the reasons weight loss journeys often feel deeply personal, therefore we tend not to share them. Perhaps, it’s a fear of failure? If we announce we are on a weight loss journey and “fail” our failure burns brightly in the gaze of others. Maybe it’s that any moments of “cheating” are magnified when others know. So, that piece of cake at work or not working out for a week becomes symbols of our failure. If the only one watching is we, it feels easier to slip in and out of that journey. There’s no accountability, not even to yourself.
The issue is we’ve struggled silently alone for years. For those that are heavy we often only share our pain with ourselves and often not even that. Being heavy is, well, heavy. It takes an emotional and physical toll on our overall health. I was always the kind and funny chubby friend. I seldom spoke about the issues with my weight: the impeding medical issues that awaited me if I didn’t change my lifestyle, those rude comments from others, or the feeling of not fitting in a world where fat was mass produced by cultural values of overeating, while ridiculed by that same culture. I hated clothes shopping with girlfriends, because I knew nothing in the store would fit. Rather than embrace my sadness over stores not carrying my size, I would make jokes or spout off theories of fat oppression. These all cloaked a feeling of being alone. I was the one dealing with my weight struggle; alone.
However, I wasn’t alone. In my life were friends and family that truly cared about my health and happiness. They wanted to see me share all of me; even my struggles. I didn’t have to carry the burden of weight alone. When I took those first meaningful steps towards becoming a healthier Melissa I realized I needed to finally let my secret out. It was like standing up at an AA meeting, “Hello, my name is Melissa and I am fat.” I admitted it out loud to others, which allowed me to finally stop hiding it from the world. When we hide our struggles and who we are from the world, we are really attempting to hide it from ourselves. Even though we see glimpses of the truth, until we face it that truth never becomes reality. The moments we share our truth, the world knows, and we accept it.
I shared my struggles with those in my life that truly cared for me. In return I found strength. I found strength in finally being honest. Each day I exchange an e-mail with two of my closest friends: Kate and Meghan that details my diet for that day, struggles on this journey, and activities. Through this process I have found encouragement and accountability. Accountability is another wonderful result of living in the light. When others see our truths they often will walk along our journey with us providing us with the needed second pair of eyes on our map.
I believe that this journey should be done in the open. Share your struggles; your truth. It allows others to finally see all of you, but most importantly it allows yourself to finally see yourself. The struggles are apart of our journey; whatever they may be. I have found great strength in sharing the struggle. None of us need to struggle alone.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Those on the Journey...
I have made NO secret that my journey is guided by those I hold dear. In the last 16 months I have embraced the concept that nobody loses weight truly on their own. This is a journey best made with good people. The last 16 months taught me about my good people; namely who they are.
Believe it or not there are people in your life that might not have as positive of a reaction to your lifestyle changes as you may hope. Seems like a no brainer, right? I get healthy. My health will breed internal happiness. Wouldn’t one assume that light inside me will brighten the world of those around me?
You know what they say about assuming. There is no need to be foul-mouth and spell it out. The changes we make when engaging; truly engaging, in this journey will impact all aspects of our lives. We begin to see the world through different eyes. One cannot make changes without being changed. This may appear a tad melodramatic or far-fetch, but those that have made this change and those that are in the lives of someone making that change can attest to the impact this journey has upon everyone involved.
It was, perhaps, the one thing I didn’t count on. I thought I was just working out, eating right, and overall becoming healthier. The physical; however, changes the emotional. Soon friends saw a change in me. It wasn’t that I was a different person, but there was this new found light that shined ever so brightly; a beckon of change that helped guide those around me to who I was becoming. Becoming more fitting, because I’ll never become but remain on a never ending journey of becoming. Once we mentally become then evolution and continued growth cease and that’s not what I want.
Previous to this journey I was happy and content in my life. I accepted who I was, playing the role of the loyal and constant Melissa. Whenever you looked back I was there, I was always there. Though I embraced life as it was, I did not chase what could be. Those in my life went off on their adventures of becoming; however, embracing the always dependable Melissa waiting to be there. I never felt like a priority to those in my life, just merely the empathetic listener waiting to be called. I felt like Batman, waiting for my chubby-shaped signal to shine through the endless night. “Da Da Da Da Fat Guy!” would announce my arrival as I swooped in beneath the cloak of night to provide the service needed by those in my life.
When you’re content, constant, and dependable stagnation becomes your life. I didn’t realize this. I was happy. I don’t say I thought I was happy, but I felt it. I was happy. I had joy. I had love. However, I lacked love of the journey. I was happy to make camp on the fork waiting for those passing through. It seemed like as good of a place as any to make my home.
Soon, though, the view lost its wonder. When you sit on the sidelines, never joining, the season soon ends. You’re stuck waiting for next season to roll around and play spectator again. Tossing my binoculars down, I throw my bag of popcorn in the trash, and stepped off the bleachers. It was time to join the game.
Spending life watching others is boring. It was time for me to have my own adventure. The last 16 months have been the greatest adventure of my life. With my new found sense of self and embrace of healthy living, I have opened myself up to so much. When you are living and not just live, your heart is open.
However, as I embraced the living Melissa I realized that not everyone appreciated the change. It’s hard to believe this, but some people prefer you to stay on the sidelines. They’ll never say it outright; however, in subtle moments you’ll see glimpses of their attempt to eject you from the game:
“You don’t need to work out!”
“You’ve changed.”
“Remember how you use to always get dessert?”
“I don’t think your weight loss is healthy.”
Some of their subtle comments may be veiled under backhanded compliments. You’ll notice attempts to get you to backslide into old behaviors. They may pull away from you. They may talk about how you’re not the same person anymore…etc
All this will make you wonder, “Am I?” Of course, you’re not! Change will change you. This isn’t bad, though. Remember when you’re the spectator, there has to be the watched. Sometimes the watched may react to the gaze of others veering away.
As I continue on my journey, I began to see this in some of the people that were in my life. Some of those that I called friends; I started to realize begrudge me my new found light, preferring the cloaked figure of empathetic listening. It wasn’t that I didn’t still listen and my core values of friendship, compassion, and kindness were swept away, but I also demanded equal exchange of those qualities of friendship. I would no longer except less than what I was giving. Embracing healthy living aided in me valuing all aspects of me, including what I deserved in relationships.
Who knew merely working out and eating healthy would help me find myself and my true friends? In the last 16 months I have said goodbye to some, held others more closely, and found strength and laughter in new friends. I share this, because it was an unforeseen lesson in my journey. Those we start this journey with may not make it along each bend in the road and that’s okay, because the one person most important on this journey is you. You will not do it alone, but will learn who will guide you on your path by just embracing your becoming.
Believe it or not there are people in your life that might not have as positive of a reaction to your lifestyle changes as you may hope. Seems like a no brainer, right? I get healthy. My health will breed internal happiness. Wouldn’t one assume that light inside me will brighten the world of those around me?
You know what they say about assuming. There is no need to be foul-mouth and spell it out. The changes we make when engaging; truly engaging, in this journey will impact all aspects of our lives. We begin to see the world through different eyes. One cannot make changes without being changed. This may appear a tad melodramatic or far-fetch, but those that have made this change and those that are in the lives of someone making that change can attest to the impact this journey has upon everyone involved.
It was, perhaps, the one thing I didn’t count on. I thought I was just working out, eating right, and overall becoming healthier. The physical; however, changes the emotional. Soon friends saw a change in me. It wasn’t that I was a different person, but there was this new found light that shined ever so brightly; a beckon of change that helped guide those around me to who I was becoming. Becoming more fitting, because I’ll never become but remain on a never ending journey of becoming. Once we mentally become then evolution and continued growth cease and that’s not what I want.
Previous to this journey I was happy and content in my life. I accepted who I was, playing the role of the loyal and constant Melissa. Whenever you looked back I was there, I was always there. Though I embraced life as it was, I did not chase what could be. Those in my life went off on their adventures of becoming; however, embracing the always dependable Melissa waiting to be there. I never felt like a priority to those in my life, just merely the empathetic listener waiting to be called. I felt like Batman, waiting for my chubby-shaped signal to shine through the endless night. “Da Da Da Da Fat Guy!” would announce my arrival as I swooped in beneath the cloak of night to provide the service needed by those in my life.
When you’re content, constant, and dependable stagnation becomes your life. I didn’t realize this. I was happy. I don’t say I thought I was happy, but I felt it. I was happy. I had joy. I had love. However, I lacked love of the journey. I was happy to make camp on the fork waiting for those passing through. It seemed like as good of a place as any to make my home.
Soon, though, the view lost its wonder. When you sit on the sidelines, never joining, the season soon ends. You’re stuck waiting for next season to roll around and play spectator again. Tossing my binoculars down, I throw my bag of popcorn in the trash, and stepped off the bleachers. It was time to join the game.
Spending life watching others is boring. It was time for me to have my own adventure. The last 16 months have been the greatest adventure of my life. With my new found sense of self and embrace of healthy living, I have opened myself up to so much. When you are living and not just live, your heart is open.
However, as I embraced the living Melissa I realized that not everyone appreciated the change. It’s hard to believe this, but some people prefer you to stay on the sidelines. They’ll never say it outright; however, in subtle moments you’ll see glimpses of their attempt to eject you from the game:
“You don’t need to work out!”
“You’ve changed.”
“Remember how you use to always get dessert?”
“I don’t think your weight loss is healthy.”
Some of their subtle comments may be veiled under backhanded compliments. You’ll notice attempts to get you to backslide into old behaviors. They may pull away from you. They may talk about how you’re not the same person anymore…etc
All this will make you wonder, “Am I?” Of course, you’re not! Change will change you. This isn’t bad, though. Remember when you’re the spectator, there has to be the watched. Sometimes the watched may react to the gaze of others veering away.
As I continue on my journey, I began to see this in some of the people that were in my life. Some of those that I called friends; I started to realize begrudge me my new found light, preferring the cloaked figure of empathetic listening. It wasn’t that I didn’t still listen and my core values of friendship, compassion, and kindness were swept away, but I also demanded equal exchange of those qualities of friendship. I would no longer except less than what I was giving. Embracing healthy living aided in me valuing all aspects of me, including what I deserved in relationships.
Who knew merely working out and eating healthy would help me find myself and my true friends? In the last 16 months I have said goodbye to some, held others more closely, and found strength and laughter in new friends. I share this, because it was an unforeseen lesson in my journey. Those we start this journey with may not make it along each bend in the road and that’s okay, because the one person most important on this journey is you. You will not do it alone, but will learn who will guide you on your path by just embracing your becoming.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
There are hills. There are valleys. There are plateaus. At any point in our weight loss/getting healthy journey we’ll hit a plateau. They may be short or stretch for miles. No matter what they’ll cause a level of frustration that may prove damaging to our sense of self and journey.
At some point that scale will stop decreasing, our endurance will seem to pace, our strength will feel stagnant, and overall a feeling of “ughness” will overcome at the idea of steamed veggies and a 60 minute workout at the end of the day. This happens to each of us. It seems to be triggered by the cease of decrease of the dreaded scale. We stand there weighing ourselves in every possible fashion; morning, noon, night, dressed, semi-dressed, naked, hair up, hair down… However, we can manipulate the scale in reading a decreased number. We’re doing all the right things. Our diet remains healthy. Our exercise regime is intact. Simply put, we’ve hit a plateau.
They are apart of the geography of our journey. Any map will foretell our impending arrival to these plateaus. We can attempt to cross rivers, climb mountains, and jump off cliffs; but, alas, our tired feet will land in that plateau. It’s the way our body takes a rest. We’ve been working hard. We’re doing everything right.
I have hit several plateaus in this journey. Some I navigate through rather quickly and soon find resurgence in all the benefits of my health journey; renewed strength, energy, endurance, and weigh loss. Others stretch on for months. Nothing I seem to do shake it. I decrease calories. I increase calories. I go on a no exercise bender for a week. I go on a Fat Guy Food Bender for a few weeks; all done in hopes to jolt the system for my return to un-Fat Guy habits.
While these may seem to work, they are only shocking my system into weight loss. Is that what this journey is all about? I am NOT going to lie. I want to lose the weight. I am 36lbs away from y goal weight. I am 36lbs away. A few weeks away I was 41lbs. However, shouldn’t this be about my health? If I don’t lose the 36lbs, but remain eating healthy and exercising regularly isn’t that victory enough? If I settle this plateau and build a home in a foundation of healthy living, isn’t that what this journey is about?
As I reflect on it, that’s the most important thing. I am still going to work towards my goal to lose these 36lbs and reach a healthy weight; for me. However, I need to remain in a perspective that sees the plateaus as a part of my journey. If I do not maintain this perspective, what are the consequences? The consequences are my dire than the stagnation of the plateau. Wrapping my self worth and the basis of this journey up in the weight loss v. the healthy living will cause the crumbling of the foundation I have worked so hard to build. Extreme tactics, as listed above, may cause me to put my health in danger. After months of not weight loss I may choose to forgo my journey. “Why bother?”
If I choose to reframe these plateaus and my journey, I’ll center it on what it needs to be about; my health and NOT the weight loss. So, I’ll enjoy the picnic of healthy living in my plateau, while I maintain the march ahead.
At some point that scale will stop decreasing, our endurance will seem to pace, our strength will feel stagnant, and overall a feeling of “ughness” will overcome at the idea of steamed veggies and a 60 minute workout at the end of the day. This happens to each of us. It seems to be triggered by the cease of decrease of the dreaded scale. We stand there weighing ourselves in every possible fashion; morning, noon, night, dressed, semi-dressed, naked, hair up, hair down… However, we can manipulate the scale in reading a decreased number. We’re doing all the right things. Our diet remains healthy. Our exercise regime is intact. Simply put, we’ve hit a plateau.
They are apart of the geography of our journey. Any map will foretell our impending arrival to these plateaus. We can attempt to cross rivers, climb mountains, and jump off cliffs; but, alas, our tired feet will land in that plateau. It’s the way our body takes a rest. We’ve been working hard. We’re doing everything right.
I have hit several plateaus in this journey. Some I navigate through rather quickly and soon find resurgence in all the benefits of my health journey; renewed strength, energy, endurance, and weigh loss. Others stretch on for months. Nothing I seem to do shake it. I decrease calories. I increase calories. I go on a no exercise bender for a week. I go on a Fat Guy Food Bender for a few weeks; all done in hopes to jolt the system for my return to un-Fat Guy habits.
While these may seem to work, they are only shocking my system into weight loss. Is that what this journey is all about? I am NOT going to lie. I want to lose the weight. I am 36lbs away from y goal weight. I am 36lbs away. A few weeks away I was 41lbs. However, shouldn’t this be about my health? If I don’t lose the 36lbs, but remain eating healthy and exercising regularly isn’t that victory enough? If I settle this plateau and build a home in a foundation of healthy living, isn’t that what this journey is about?
As I reflect on it, that’s the most important thing. I am still going to work towards my goal to lose these 36lbs and reach a healthy weight; for me. However, I need to remain in a perspective that sees the plateaus as a part of my journey. If I do not maintain this perspective, what are the consequences? The consequences are my dire than the stagnation of the plateau. Wrapping my self worth and the basis of this journey up in the weight loss v. the healthy living will cause the crumbling of the foundation I have worked so hard to build. Extreme tactics, as listed above, may cause me to put my health in danger. After months of not weight loss I may choose to forgo my journey. “Why bother?”
If I choose to reframe these plateaus and my journey, I’ll center it on what it needs to be about; my health and NOT the weight loss. So, I’ll enjoy the picnic of healthy living in my plateau, while I maintain the march ahead.
Pulling that brick along my journey to remind me of the weight (emotional and physical) that we all carry on this journey.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
10th Grade Math?
Often we lose our minds and slip into that person we don’t want to be. I have found myself slipping into that calorie obsessed girl, that I once ignored as the sweetness of a piece of milk chocolate melted in my mouth. “Calories…yep…” I would mumble as my taste buds soaked up the luscious flavor. Those girls would be jotted down how many almonds they had and rationing calories like the last drops of water, while set adrift upon an endless sea.
Today as I calculated the number of calories in a peanut butter cookie, trying to decide if I should partake in the office goodies, I called on the forces of 10th grade math trying to percentage out that cookie to fit the complicated calculations of ONLY in taking 1750 calories a day to stick with my plan. Was the cookie worth it? Could I substitute that cookie for my lunch? Should I?
As I sat there rationing how that cookie fit into my dietary needs; “There are eggs, which are protein, in the cookie…” it dawned on me, “When did I become a calorie counter? When did I live and die by how many calories were in something? How did food lose its joy and become a Math lesson?
Now, I am not saying calories aren’t important. It’s VITAL to know what you’re consuming. However, isn’t it more important to take in the WHOLE picture? Yes, I could have broken off a piece of that cookie and indulges in its sweetness or I could have eaten a piece of fresh fruit and some almonds giving me more benefit for those same calories. Should I measure my diet simply by calorie intake? Is 1750 calories a day of all the bad stuff better than 2000 of all the right stuff?
While the fewer calories will help in weigh loss, it won’t help sustain my weight loss. If I am training my mind to measure in calories, I’ll always pick the lower calorie option. That’s not necessarily the best. For example while reduced fat peanut butter has less calories and fat, it removes all the good fat found in regular peanut butter and adds WAY more sugar. Shouldn’t I be stressing less about calories and more about substance?
The answer, of course, is yes. Substance should trump calories any day. If my calories exceed 1750 (not be a HUGE amount) but provide my body with the proper nutrition to fuel my exercise and metabolism isn’t that the most important thing? For the record I did not consume the cookie.
I choose healthy options to make up my eating for today:
Piece of Whole Wheat Toast with Tablespoon Nutella
Soy Milk
8 bottles of water
2 glasses of water
Grande Mint Green Tea Iced
Grande Hot Peppermint Tea (black)
2 Cups Protein Plus Cereal
2 Appels
2 Bananas
Single Serving of Almonds
Yogurt
Cup of Steamed Veggies
Two spoon full of Spaghetti O’s
Grilled Turkey Burger with Swiss (no bun)
Bowl of Chocolate Lucky Charm for a dessert with 2 percent Milk
I found that I had a day full of taste and healthy foods that fueled my body for my day and 40 minute workout. While calories are important, it’s important to measure your diet in more than the total number of calories in something. I need to look beyond the calories. For example that 100 calorie pack of Oreo’s is not going to provide me with the same benefits of those 150 calories of almonds or piece of fruit.
The lesson here is read more deeply into those labels that say Low Fat, Fat Free, or Low Calorie. Read those labels and compare them to the original. You might find that those labels are deceptive in telling you something is good for you remember. Remember 20 less calories might seem good, but what do they add/take away in the other areas? Calorie counting is NOT the answer!
Today as I calculated the number of calories in a peanut butter cookie, trying to decide if I should partake in the office goodies, I called on the forces of 10th grade math trying to percentage out that cookie to fit the complicated calculations of ONLY in taking 1750 calories a day to stick with my plan. Was the cookie worth it? Could I substitute that cookie for my lunch? Should I?
As I sat there rationing how that cookie fit into my dietary needs; “There are eggs, which are protein, in the cookie…” it dawned on me, “When did I become a calorie counter? When did I live and die by how many calories were in something? How did food lose its joy and become a Math lesson?
Now, I am not saying calories aren’t important. It’s VITAL to know what you’re consuming. However, isn’t it more important to take in the WHOLE picture? Yes, I could have broken off a piece of that cookie and indulges in its sweetness or I could have eaten a piece of fresh fruit and some almonds giving me more benefit for those same calories. Should I measure my diet simply by calorie intake? Is 1750 calories a day of all the bad stuff better than 2000 of all the right stuff?
While the fewer calories will help in weigh loss, it won’t help sustain my weight loss. If I am training my mind to measure in calories, I’ll always pick the lower calorie option. That’s not necessarily the best. For example while reduced fat peanut butter has less calories and fat, it removes all the good fat found in regular peanut butter and adds WAY more sugar. Shouldn’t I be stressing less about calories and more about substance?
The answer, of course, is yes. Substance should trump calories any day. If my calories exceed 1750 (not be a HUGE amount) but provide my body with the proper nutrition to fuel my exercise and metabolism isn’t that the most important thing? For the record I did not consume the cookie.
I choose healthy options to make up my eating for today:
Piece of Whole Wheat Toast with Tablespoon Nutella
Soy Milk
8 bottles of water
2 glasses of water
Grande Mint Green Tea Iced
Grande Hot Peppermint Tea (black)
2 Cups Protein Plus Cereal
2 Appels
2 Bananas
Single Serving of Almonds
Yogurt
Cup of Steamed Veggies
Two spoon full of Spaghetti O’s
Grilled Turkey Burger with Swiss (no bun)
Bowl of Chocolate Lucky Charm for a dessert with 2 percent Milk
I found that I had a day full of taste and healthy foods that fueled my body for my day and 40 minute workout. While calories are important, it’s important to measure your diet in more than the total number of calories in something. I need to look beyond the calories. For example that 100 calorie pack of Oreo’s is not going to provide me with the same benefits of those 150 calories of almonds or piece of fruit.
The lesson here is read more deeply into those labels that say Low Fat, Fat Free, or Low Calorie. Read those labels and compare them to the original. You might find that those labels are deceptive in telling you something is good for you remember. Remember 20 less calories might seem good, but what do they add/take away in the other areas? Calorie counting is NOT the answer!
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